California dreamin'

Dallas: the fireflies are out tonight. 4 o’clocks and Mexican tarragon perfume the air.

Flagging

It was a month to remember. David and I spent time together almost every day. And there were so many nice lunches and dinners (Eureka!). Living so close – just a few blocks from one another. It’s a special and immeasurably good feeling to run into David and Charles on Castro or Market or Noe, in our community.

Flagging

We went to Flagging in the Park – a beautiful tribal gathering in the meadow at the National AIDS Memorial Grove. Where Leslie’s ashes are. Where there is a partially buried stone inscribed, Sweet Leslie (from David and Charles). Where I held many small ceremonies for Leslie. Where on this day, we’re piled up on a blanket at the edge of the meadow. Happy!

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Mendocino

So much happened this trip that it’s difficult to recapture even the sequences, so I’ll write with small regard for what happened when and the photos are also out of sequence (but I don’t think you’ll mind that). Late April into late May in San Francisco with David and in Berkeley and on Highway 1 with Jean. By way of introduction, Jean’s website is here. We share many similar interests and values. This is a good time.

Mendocino

Headed south from Berkeley to Aptos, a little town next to Santa Cruz where Jean was to give a talk to a weaver’s guild. Traffic was heavy until we got over the mountains. Finally a mad dash into a coffee shop where she hesitated at the car and I dashed on in to the restroom. Ahhh, Knock-Knock, “Hurry up.” I opened the door and she came in and not that I ended up peeing in the sink while she used the commode… but if I did, I rinsed it out with care. Whew! A relationship building exercise. On to the weaver’s guild venue (a little late) into a forest where we unloaded the art Jean would use for her presentation.

I left her there and went to the beach where I lay on a sarong in the sand listening to the surf tumbling in and shwoooshing out; in and out; in and out; hypnotizing. Back to the weaver’s place, load the car, head north via a back road to La Honda. La Honda, where the Merry Pranksters, Ken Kesey, Mountain Girl, Wavy Gravy and all had a scene among the redwoods.

Into the mountains to the gate to the road where Jean’s friends live in a handmade home on steep acreage among the redwoods. But before we got to the house we stopped to walk into the forest. Faerie circles in the redwood forest.

The woman is an artist and close friend of Jean’s; her husband a creator of metal sculpture, buildings, roads, whatever is needed for a beautiful life in the forest. Good fellowship, good hot tub, good food, good cannabis, good times.

La Honda

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Other friends visited:

A home in Richmond – altar on the way in past the flowers, into a home of colors and textures and a magical hallway. Artists, makers, wonderful things. A lovely, relaxing evening. Someone put on Positively 4^th Street, a song I’d been listening to earlier. Three of the four of us have lost a spouse, all were deep in the 60s, so lots of understanding.

Potrero Hill, an extended family, an attorney and a musician. More easy times – which is very good for a not-very-sociable me. The attorney elicited a lot of information from me in a short while – which also was good as I’m not wont to volunteer a lot of personal information.

Mendocino (seals)

Richmond Hills, up the longest front steps in the world and at the top, a home and a love story for the ages. Late, late in life he was looking at some art on the internet and clicked on one of the graphics to discover that the artist was his lost love from 40+ years ago. He contacted her and they fell in love all over again and here they are a couple of years later, together. Another wonderful evening.

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N Judah to Civic Center BART to Berkeley. Another afternoon and evening with Jean in the Berkeley Hills with Golden Gate Bridge far in the distance, sun setting over the Bay and Mount Tamalpais, lights in the fog…

Jean at Chez Panisse

In the morning driving north across the Richmond-San Rafael Bridge, past San Quentin, up the highway, into wine country, into the endless redwood forest, and then the sea, the headlands, the rocks, the hills around Mendocino. Mendocino! The land of my dreams!

Then Fort Bragg, which looks like the former army town it is, but then down a long road and more redwoods into The Garden at Roads End. I’ve never seen so much extravagant beauty in one place. As if the eight acres of Roads End wasn’t enough, we walked far into the Mendocino Area Botanical Gardens – rhododendron forests, foxglove blooming everywhere, roses, wonderful.

We had a beautiful and romantic several days in this place of unparalleled beauty. On the beach, the headlands, restaurants, forest, garden, hot tub, wine country (I even kind of went to a wine tasting), California dreamin’ yeah.

Deep gratitude.

The Garden at Road's End - eight acres of redwoods and flowers

Dear Anthony

Congratulations, Anthony
Jesuit Preparatory School, 2016

Dear Anthony,

Congratulations! What a job you’ve done! And look what lies ahead! I am proud to know you and your family. 

I want to share some things that were helpful to me in one way or another along the way toward graduating magna cum laude from Baylor.

Background: from middle school through high school and into college I was a terrible student. When I applied to Baylor, I had a 1.7 GPA – proof of my poor performance in school. The Dean at Baylor gave me a list of prerequisites and told me to come back if I could make straight A’s in those subjects. She was surprised when I showed up a year later with all A’s in chemistry, biology, anatomy, physiology, and so on! What helped:

• Never missed a class, was never late, always sat up front, and paid total attention in class. I was unafraid to ask questions during or after class – or before the next class. 
  
• As soon as possible after every class I recopied my notes (adding material from texts if needed to help me understand). In this manner, I heard the material, wrote the material, and rewrote and started integrating the material. It was like pre-studying for tests. I don’t know how I would interact with a computer or PowerPoint in this process – maybe read carefully back through notes and use text to add to them? I don’t know.
• Changed my handwriting from scrawlish to as neat as possible.
• Treated school like a job – I worked at it from 8am to 5 or 6pm. I didn’t take long social lunches, but I always ate lunch and didn’t study while eating. I also took other breaks and changed my study locations during the day when I started getting sleepy. In
  undergraduate school I took most of most weekends off; in graduate school I had to work harder – that was a 6-7 day/week job. 
  
• Group projects are a fact of life. And there are always people who don’t do their part, are late, and are otherwise non-productive. Be assertive in identifying smart, motivated people (they’re often quiet people) and connecting with them to work together. This is an important skill.
• Often studied with other people – again, choosing carefully. You’ll make good study connections over time.
• Avoided situations and people who wouldn’t help in my journey. I don’t mean I didn’t help other people; I did. But I avoided people who were unmotivated, drinkers, stoners, gamers, and so on. I went out some on weekends, but it was not one big party. I actually had a very good time in school, and have been having a good time ever since. 
• I recall seeing some legitimate research showing that students who worked part-time in college tended to do well – working apparently does not have an adverse effect on grades.
• Always bought used books. If it’s such a great book and worth the high price charged for new, you can always get one later.

Garden at Road's End, outside Fort Bragg

Being a good student is hard work and the rewards are many. You get to learn a lot, test yourself, spend time with smart people, meet new people, see new things, and open up your life in other unanticipated and wonderful ways.

School can be a gateway to an amazing life.

How Weird, hospice (the purpose), ports of call (Asia)

How Weird, 2016

How Weird is a street party in San Francisco – about 20,000 people, fragrant air, 10 stages, trance around every corner – BIG THUMP THUMP THUMP! 2016 was a good one! How Weird site

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I found this from days gone past (in the 1995 book): “The underlying purpose or mission of hospice/ palliative/terminal care is to facilitate an internal and external physical, psychosocial, and spiritual environment in which the patient and his or her loved ones have the opportunity for reconciliation with God, others, and self… to realize the purpose of life.” 

We took on pain, suffering, despair, emptiness… with knowledge, skill, commitment, presence…

In the Still of the Night, Hong Kong 5am

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Traveling in Asia… All those places…

(Links are to some - not all - posts from Asia travels)

Hong Kong – Home base, where we always spent at least a few days going to and coming from SE Asia. My first time there was in 1967; Leslie and I started going in 1978; our last time was in 2013. I love Hong Kong. “Urban compression!” 2012, 2005, 2008

(Ridicerous!), some photos, and 2013 (our last HK post)

Leslie's favorite banh cuon lady in Hanoi

Hanoi – Walking in the “medieval streets” of the Old Quarter, Leslie said, “I love Vietnam. It’s fun. It’s clean. The people are nice and seem to be honest. And the food is unbelievable.” Nobody in the history of the world ever said all that together about Vietnam. Vietnam! Leslie! 2010, with David and 2008 (first time)

Sapa – A town in the clouds, literally; in the cool northern Vietnam highlands; kind of like Nepal. Sapa, 2013 

A lake in the middle of an island in Halong Bay

Tam Coc – In a two-person boat on the river running through rice fields, along limestone cliffs, through caves… Hanoi and Tam Coc

Halong – Incredible islands of vertical limestone rising mysteriously from the mist and a placid sea on a boat with about 20 passengers. One of them said, “I have, what do you call it – the sickness of the ocean. I want to womit.” Halong - a ship of (some) fools 

Hue – Beautiful Hue, my favorite city in the world (along with San Francisco and Berkeley). My first time here was in 1967. It’s raining, misty, tropical, mysterious, this city of ghosts. Hue (it's raining) and Beautiful Hue

David and Leslie in the rain near Hue.
I love this photograph.

Hoi An – Narrow streets, few cars, old shop fronts, tailors, and tourists. Hoi An and Hill 55 (2005)

Danang – I spent 3-4 days/month there for six months in 1967. Leslie and I just passed through a few times. A place with a lot of memories, many of them good.

Near Battambang

Saigon – Oh hell, yes! Packed streets and markets (it’s a commercial rave scene), millions of motos, brilliant street food, countless narrow lanes, a place of many good memories since my first time there in 2005, 2012, 2006

Mekong Delta – The greenest place I’ve ever been, water, water everywhere, a beautiful place. 2006

Phnom Penh – The first time there it seemed ominous, but over time, opened up. David was there for a year working at the Hope Medical Center. Mony, Sophear, their family, Samnang – welcome! 2006 (includes Phnom Penh and Hope Hospital),  2005 (I never imagined visiting mass graves or torture rooms)

In Chiang Mai

Battambang – The heartland of Cambodia, slow-moving, deep into the countryside 5 minutes out of town. 2010, 2005

Siem Reap (Angkor) – Ancient temples, deserted for centuries, and we’re slow-walking into the empty forest around Angkor. 2005, 2006

Kampot – Sleepy riverside town where the river empties into the Gulf of Siam. Phnom Penh and Kampot

Poipet – (Cambodian border town) It used to be the dirtiest imaginable town with dusty, ghostly, ragged people trudging around; now, it’s full of casinos and brothels.

Curry - two with rice for a dollar or two

Aranyaprathet – Several times, actually. Once we were staying in a house way out in the countryside a mile or so from where artillery was hitting. We talked about where we would meet if the arty hit us and we were separated and Leslie was like, “Okay.” A very cool person. Khao-I-Dang – the refugee camp near Aran. Photos, words about K-I-D

Leslie in Burma, 2007 and Kathmandu, 1978

Bangkok – Southeast Asia’s main travel hub. To put it into context, the population is almost 3x bigger than Houston, but with waaay less urban planning. Leslie loved Bangkok and we had many good times there – The Miami, where as a gesture of solidarity with the prostitutes who weren’t allowed to use the elevator, Leslie always took the stairs. The Century Motel, Nansok’s, Boon’s, Drop Inn, Suk 11, Merry V Guesthouse, Stephan’s, Jean-Francoise’s, Harry’s... 2008, 2009 (rediscovering Bangkok) (also see You call it liver... below)

Kho Samui – In those days, just an overloaded ferry-ish boat. Little grass hut on the beach for about $1.50. Photo below.

Ayyutahya – Ancient ruins north of Bangkok.

Worship at Shwe Dagon in Rangoon

Chiang Mai – City of many temples, markets, festivals, good food, cheaper guesthouses and hotels, cooler temperatures, and happy memories. Our first time in Chiang Mai was 1978 and our last time was December 2013. "You call it liver; I call it karma" (2013), 2011, 2007 with David

From left: Paul, Charles, Leslie, Vera - in Mandalay

Luang Prabang – A UNESCO World Heritage city, which means that old buildings are preserved vs. new one built, small signs, many travelers (more travelers than tourists). Great times for Leslie, David, me – and a great connection to Ben and Magera. 2007 with David

Rangoon – We were here in the old days, when visas were for 7 days only, and in modern times when the city is (now) called Yangon and visas are for longer stays. There was one magical night in a government guesthouse. And magical days at Shewdagon – the great golden temple/paya. Photos from 1970s, Shwe Dagon 

A transgender trance dancer (pink top) in a nat
ceremony down a side street in Mandalay, 1980s

Moulmein! – “By the old Moulmein Pagoda, lookin’ lazy at the sea, there’s a Burma girl a-setting, and I know she thinks o’ me...” And I sat right where Kipling's Burma girl sat, and I looked out to the sea and thought of her… Following written on the train from Moulmein to Rangoon:

Mountains above,
Padi below,
In mystic light.

Through a village in a forest,
A beautiful, graceful girl,
With thanaka on her cheeks,
And a basket on her head,
Walks out of a dark path among the trees.
Then another one!

Down in a small valley between green, green hills women bathing by a stream, sarongs up over their breasts. Children playing. How I wish, how I wish you were here. 
Mountains close by the road, clouds touching to tops and sunlight touching the sides with golden stupas glittering in the sunlight - like a hallucination. Smell of growth and wood smoke. Child with short hair and thanaka on her cheeks and nose. Some houses, but mostly hooches, some nice, some poor. It's not too hot, but it is hot.

Somewhere along the way I lose almost all my commitments, except for Leslie and David and the mission. Moulmein and other places in Burma, 2007

At Shwe Dagon

Pegu – Home of the world’s most beautiful reclining Buddha and not much else – just an incredible small Burmese town. See photos and 2007 links above

Mandalay – More magic in this sprawling dusty village-like city. Leslie and Charles: they’d have fun anywhere! More photos from 1970s

Sagaing – a mystic town of temples and monasteries across the hills, in the mist. See photos and 2007 links above

Maymyo – A former British hill station, where there are miniature stagecoaches instead of taxis. See photos and 2007 links above

Outside of Kathmandu

Calcutta – Every block of every street had many, many people sleeping on the sidewalks, even in the street. There was a corpse right outside the gate to our hotel. Leslie’s dysentery got worse here.

Kathmandu – A hippie paradise framed by the Himalayas. On the plane out of Kathmandu, flying over the snowy mountains, Leslie said, “If this plane goes down (and that seemed like a possibility), what a place to die!"

Ko Samui - Leslie and our little hut

Food in Asia post

Food in Asia photos

All the Travelpod entries

Google Pages travel site/links

Picassa Web photos