Lighter

Here we go again, Wheeler Peak Wilderness for 3-4 days with Jim Z, on to Fort Collins area for an outdoor party with Jeff, and then … just got word this evening that Martin can’t make it to the Weminuche Wilderness, so the last of the trip is cancelled. Jeff and I may backpack a few days or hang out in Boulder – or not – I don’t know. Photo: We think that's a finch in the left center - the only one we've ever seen

Brief aside/ introduction to the next paragraph: I talked with a nurse today who told me she helped take care of me in surgical ICU and that I was in pretty bad shape. She did reassure me I didn't say anything I'd regret - I have NO recollection of being on a ventilator - days completely lost and that's probably best.

Since that hospitalization, I have been even more fully aware of the many and deep connections to Leslie. Over the past few days I've had feelings of dread about being away from her for so long. In the final analysis - by the time the trip rolled around - this trip was based more on getting into the mountains with Martin vs. just getting into the mountains (though I was really looking forward to getting up there with Jun, too). Anyway, I’m probably coming home a few days early. Photo: At the clinic

The moment I realized the trip would be shorter than I'd planned, I felt lighter. I'd already begun having feelings of dread, and now - now I'm distinctly lighter.

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Dream the world all alive
Busily conspiring humming like a hive
Dream the world all alive
I dream it as me

Rise as fair and tender leaves
Brightening in countless eyes
And the sweet song of whales
Beneath the sea

If I could sing only one song I'd sing of you
If I could sing only one song I'd sing of you
If I could sing only one song
If I could sing only one song I'd sing of you

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All that's the best about me is about you or for you or from you.

Bread, Hope

Bread I’ve baked in recent months:

Yeasted French (Acme Bread Company recipe from Glezer book)*
Yeasted herb slab (also Acme)
Sourdough,* San Francisco style from Reinhart book*
Sourdough, French (we liked the SF better)
Sourdough with kalamata olives
Sourdough with pepper jack cheese – a breakthrough!
No-knead French*
No-knead sourdough
No-knead French with rosemary
Whole wheat (Tassajara and Reinhart recipes)
Banana bread (not yeast or sourdough)

*Books include Artisan Baking by Glezer, Artisan Breads Every Day by Reinhart, The Tassajara Bread Book by Brown. Sourdough starter made from recipe in Glezer book. No-knead bread is from NPR recipe here.
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Photo: And dreams emerge - a photo of Hong from Alison in Hanoi & Australia

Some of my notes from a church school lesson. Reading the notes again, I’m amazed and uplifted. Things in parentheses are my additions.

People need an upward vision in order to find an earthly place to stand. Purpose in life not solely self. Faith (and experience) gives us a spiritual place to stand.

If you want to save your life you must lose it.

We are called to put on love in all its manifestations. Love is hope-bearing. We’re in the business of bringing hope/vanquishing despair.

A story about a young man, dying from AIDS, asking his father, a Baptist minister (a religion and role associated with a lot of judgment), “Daddy, will you come lie in the bed with me like you used to.” Choosing the heart of his faith over theological judgment, the father lay down with his son and held him as he died.

A metaphor for living a sacred life is building Jerusalem – where we live. William Blake wrote a poem on this and it became the hymn, Jerusalem. We are in the business of bringing hope AND building Jerusalem – in our life/heart, our family, our church, our community, our world.
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I don’t know who this is from: Our entire universe is contained in the mind and the spirit