Barbara sent me a letter that began, "You will make it." I printed a copy to carry in my billfold.
-------------------
I see couples together, a man and woman, a man and a man, a woman and a woman, sometimes with a child, sometimes just a parent and child, and like a prayer, I think something like, “Cherish what you have, love her (or him) with all your heart, give it all you have.” This happens almost every day.
-------------------
![]() |
David Kemp and Charles Binkley, married, September 2015 |
I see couples together, a man and woman, a man and a man, a woman and a woman, sometimes with a child, sometimes just a parent and child, and like a prayer, I think something like, “Cherish what you have, love her (or him) with all your heart, give it all you have.” This happens almost every day.
--------------------
I went today to the first
meeting of a grief recovery group. The walking wounded. One man will mark one
year tomorrow. “Clara,” he spoke her name softly. Another man just passed two
months and I thought, “How can he do it?” Everyone else in the group has
been in it longer, so I guess that’s how he’ll do it. It’s so hard. Until this,
Vietnam was the hardest thing I’ve ever done. This is much harder.
--------------------
These things are written
over time, so when I say something about “the past few days” I may be writing
about days a week or two ago.
Hard times much of the
past few days. The thing of writing down three good things each day fell by the
wayside as I’ve cycled downward.
Phorn, David, CK. At Grace Cathedral, David and Charles' wedding |
Monday I went to the grief
center at Wilshire Baptist Church. Had a draining 1.5 hour conversation with
Laurie, the director. The next day I talked with Lillie, the woman who
facilitates the group I will start in next Tuesday.
(Encourage, it’s a word I
want to keep in mind.)
----------------------
While we were in San
Francisco the last time, Jeff talked some about Vietnam. I started thinking
about how much combat I was in. Really a lot. Definitions:
Battle = a sustained
fight with a lot of people involved, lasting anywhere from hours to days.
Firefight or gunfight = a
brief fight involving a few people, that may last a few minutes up to an hour.
1/26 = 1st
Battalion, 26th Marine Regiment; likewise 1/9 is 1st Bn,
9th Marine Reg. and so on. A letter in front of these, e.g., C/1/26, designates C Company, 1st Bn...
With Elisabeth and Jim, on the trail, NM |
Battles
Deckhouse/Prairie, a big
one near the DMZ – battalions of NVA regulars, trenches, mortars, rockets, many
firefights. On the last day I saw a tanker get his head blown off. He was
wearing a commo helmet, and it was like seeing a radio explode. When the
fighting was over, I got his .45. I remember when we got back to a firebase the
tanks laagered up and we (the infantry) all just kind of fell down asleep in the
center of the circle. In the morning I saw the entire 1st weapons
squad asleep together – three men, spooned together under a poncho – a week
before there had been 12-14 men in 1st squad. For the operation, 36 Marines were killed and 167 wounded (from several units). Deckhouse/Prairie
lasted a week or two for my unit, C/1/26.
Sea and sky and land |
Dodge City a few months
later – 16 KIA, several helicopters shot down, bad action, Zamora killed. His
friend went crazy, started screaming, and charged the enemy trench line, so
everybody else did too. Lasted about a day.
The Hill Fights/the “First
Battle of Khe Sanh” – this was the worst. At the DMZ. I was mostly with 1/9, “The
Walking Dead” and also some with 3/3 or 2/3. 168 men killed over about a month.
I was in this one at several different points, with some rest time back at the
rear near Dong Ha, where the only problem was rockets. I think I can rightfully
say this was at least two battles for me. Intense. Lasted weeks.
Firefights/gunfights
John and CK, in the Castro |
Sniper fire/mines
When we were near Dodge City (Thuy Bo) every bleeding day at
least one person was hit by sniper fire or blown away by a bouncing betty or
other mine. Every fucking day.
I've been shot at with hand-held automatic weapons, crew-served automatic weapons, mortars, RPGs, big rockets, artillery, and I don't know what else. I've even been strafed by a gunship.
I've been shot at with hand-held automatic weapons, crew-served automatic weapons, mortars, RPGs, big rockets, artillery, and I don't know what else. I've even been strafed by a gunship.
THAT’S A LOT OF ACTION! I
don’t seem to be haunted by it, though. It comes up now and then, but not so
bad. I don’t remember my dreams. Things might be different if I did. Haha,
Jeff’s dreams are enough for me.
----------------------
Phana and Jeff - we all love a pretty girl, don't we. Look at how he's looking at her - just as if he was looking at David. |
----------------------
David and Charles got
married a few weeks ago. It was a huge celebration. I realized a few days
before the ceremony that it was a transition for me, too – and not the easiest
one of my life. Of course, these are days upon days of transitions for me… More
on this later. Will post video when it comes out.
______________
A woman was telling me how
Leslie helped her years ago and how thankful she was for it. Somewhere in the
conversation, I said, “Yes, she helped hundreds of people. The woman said, “No.
Thousands.”