Saturday, May 25, 2013

Into the mystic

Kneading the dough
Take the F-Line down Market to downtown and BART to the Berkeley Rockridge Station. From the station walk a block or so up College and catch the 49B bus to Claremont and get off at the Star Market. Stop in at SemiFreddi’s Bakery for a cinnamon roll and then to the Star for bread (kalamata olive) and French roast coffee ($1 for large cup, which we split). Sitting at a table on the tree-covered sidewalk – huge trees all about, hills, flowers, homes, people walking, children, dogs…

Later I was thinking, how completely cool is it to be in Berkeley, to know our way around parts of it, to be here now on Claremont, here on Telegraph Avenue, here at Sproul Plaza, home of the Free Speech Movement, here in Cali.

Back in The City, lying in bed, sometimes we can hear a foghorn blowing, like when we walk from the end of the bus line at Land’s End, through flowers and the sea and sky.

Smell the sea and feel the sky,
Let your soul and spirit fly… into the mystic.
A few minutes walk from the end of the 38L bus line.

And when that fog horn blows, I will be coming home.
And when that fog horn blows, I want to hear it…
I don't have to fear it,
I want to rock your gypsy soul,
Just like way back in the days of old,
Then magnificently we will float into the mystic.
(Van Morrison)

Hangin’ on a corner in The Castro, watching all the pretty people passing by and these immortal words from Bob Dylan running through my mind: “Equality, I spoke the word as if a wedding vow." Not really thinking so much of the equality of marriage equality, but the equality of being free, the equality of being free to love openly, free to be real and happy, free To Be. San Francisco.

Here it comes, the F-line streetcar
Another day, F-Line to Haight and 71 up Haight to Golden Gate Park, around the park and get off (I think) at 9th. Walk along, Boom!, down a path to the Shakespeare Garden, understated, quiet, all period plants like sweet brier rose and old-timey daisies, gardener feeding the squirrels, baby girl chasing the squirrels, jaybird stealing the squirrel’s food, baby girl’s Mom, us. Sweet.

It’s not that we do all that much with David other than being together in the evenings. The main thing is just to be close. Kind of part of his and Charles’ life. Right now there is a 6 month old German shepherd, Jake, so there’s a lot going on with a big inquisitive and very young dog. David and I walked him every evening, so that was pretty grand. Thinking back on trips with David: Boston, Berkeley, Saigon, Hanoi, Hong Kong, Bangkok, Phnom Penh – good times, magical times.

Jake threw up one evening, so while David cleaned up the mess I read this story aloud to him and Leslie: Re-gifting is better than re-eating (12/26/2007): About 3:30am
Quote from Allen Ginsberg at bus stop
today Leslie was awakened by Buddy retching. She was too late to get him out of the house, so he threw up on the living room rug. What came up was mostly chunks of the bone he had eaten earlier (his Christmas bone), and by the time she got back to the living room with paper towels, etc., he was re-eating one of the chunks. So it's 3:30 in the morning and Leslie is wrestling with Buddy, trying to get the chunk of bone out of his great big, muscle-bunched pit bull mouth (thinking that if he ate it sooner or later she would see that little beauty yet again) all the while trying to not step in the barf. What a cute little doggie we have. Wait! Stop the Presses! The bone was Buddy's Christmas bone, so actually, he re-gifted and re-ate! 

Earlier I played After All This Time by Rodney Crowell. “After all this time, you’re always on my mind… I still want you.”
From our front porch, early April 2013

When I die, nobody should feel sad on my account. If you’re one of the few who will really miss me, then sure, sad.

But here’s the thing: I’m fulfilled. Of course I would have liked more time. More time with Leslie and David, with you – and one more Asia trip, one more San Francisco trip, one more backpack, one more psy gathering, one more time to bake bread, and so on. But I have loved and been loved, lived my beliefs, had a happy home, had a beautiful son, had a grand partnership with Leslie, had many adventures, and so much more – really, it’s been amazing!  

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