Thursday, August 4, 2016

Principles for being, conversation, San Francisco, destiny

Jean at Marcia's
Several of these photos were taken in Jean’s friend Marcia’s house in Berkeley.

Some of the more vicious FB posts about Hillary Clinton started me thinking about how we communicate and what responsibilities we might have in communicating. I looked up something I wrote in 1999 about ethics related to end-of-life care, especially the part about being honest. The fundamental moral or ethical principle is respect for people. Within this respect are these principles:
In Marcia's garden
  • Respect for autonomy – the right of self-determination.
  • Beneficence or benevolence – doing good, meeting needs; a moral obligation to practice mercy, kindness, compassion, and charity.
  • Nonmaleficence – doing no harm.
  • Veracity – truth-telling.
  • Confidentiality – respecting privileged information.
  • Fidelity – keeping promises.
  • Justice – treating fairly.

Of course these don’t apply only to end-of-life care; they are ultimately serious and high organizing principles for life and how we be together and within ourselves. (Thanks and a tip of the hat to Tom Beauchamp and James Childress.)

Conversation with Guy, the man who sells flowers on Noe:
It looks like I may be moving to Berkeley.
What about your son?
Well, I’m retired, so I’ll just commute – lunches in SF, Golden Gate, all that.
Marcia's bathroom
You’re lucky.

I know.


San Francisco

Several years ago my son-in-law recommended the Tales of The City series by Armistead Maupin. I think Charles thought that reading these books would help me better understand San Francisco, the city I’ve fallen in love with – especially gay San Francisco. That’s exactly what happened. I just finished the last book in the series – The Days of Anna Madrigal. What a soaring, beautiful book.

My apartment on Noe. Window by alarm is/was mine.
My apartment is very near David and Charles in Duboce Triangle, between the Castro and Lower Haight. Leslie and I lived here happily – most of the time. After she passed away (I almost wrote, died) I stayed. Like our home in Dallas, I’ve loved and been loved here, made love here, been happy here, mourned here – I’ve lived here.

This is the city David gave to Leslie – and she embraced it fully and was embraced by it. Leslie in the Haight! Market! Castro! Cole Valley! She’s on the bus, on the F-Line, she’s in the streets, she’s interacting!


To be born again.

We were studying Paul’s letter to the Romans (8:26-36) in Bible study (about groans too deep for words, searching the heart, predestiny – all that in ten verses!) and I was thinking about the
View from Jean's house - Mount Tam
day before when I spent several hours at a coffee shop with a young friend and was blown away by the fact that with open heart and well-acquainted with groans too deep for words, she’s walking tall into her destiny. It’s been a long road and she’s stayed true to the call. She and I have had some of the same visions. This was a very affirming time for me.

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